It's a beautiful life

I definitely have my ups and downs in general with emotions, and sometimes they can get extreme. But as my parents have told me, since I am a very intense person, it means I can be so intensely happy at times- something that some other people will never experience.

I miss home, yes, but I am really starting to love it here seriously again. After finding all of the flaws, I am finding all of the beauty and am hoping that I have enough time left here-only two months! It really helps that this morning I called the AU financial aid office and the Hollings scholarship office and discovered that I can keep my scholarships and my status in the honors program if I drop this Tridimension class that I originally took for fun and an easy A but oh how ironic! It is meant to discipline art students, that I have spent so much money on, that I have spent hours on, that I have been told by my professor that I was doing well in, and that I apparently have a 70 in (I was just told this 1.5 weeks ago...). She seems to think that's okay; unfortunately, that would be very harmful for my GPA for a class I honestly don't need to take for any reason. I feel a little bad about "giving up"on it by dropping it, but honestly it will give me more time to travel, to spend with my family here, to work on my other classes, to enjoy life with my friends. I am just so relieved. Because I just need 30 credits in the year in total-this semester I have 13, and since I don't have a lot of space in my schedule anyway I was going to take the SCUBA certification class next semester as a sixth class (at least 18 credits in total) anyway (I pretty much need to take all five classes towards my major slash minors every semester until I graduate)

Also, I just can't believe how wonderful my host family is. They just always think of me, treat me like another child, are always giving me advice, always have time to spend with me when I'm available and when I'm not they feel so bad for how much work I have. My host mom also just teaches me so much about life whenever we talk. She is such a peaceful, upbeat, loving, generous person, and I admire her so much. She is so open about everything and always has time to talk about things with me. She encourages me in my classes, cooks delicious vegan food for me, always makes sure I'm happy and well, makes excuses for me that I exercise a lot whenever I eat them out of house and home, and welcomes my friends with open arms. Tonight we talked about how connected my two families got to each other when my family came to visit and selflessness in the name of children and unity within a family. We were talking about how hard it is for my parents as us kids are growing up and how it's especially hard because boys don't share as much with their parents as girls. She was saying how parents have to rediscover spending time together as they did when they were novios and how they have to enjoy every moment. She said at first when she fought with her husband she thought she wasn't right for him because they were so different, but she was patient and found the beauty and good in their relationship and has a rule to not go to sleep angry at him. And now my host parents are pretty much the cutest and happiest couple in the world. This came from talking about a movie she wants to see where a man wants to divorce his wife but his father tells him he has to do a list of things before he can. And they're all beautiful, sweet things to rekindle their romance and their spark. Because so many couples who end up divorced had separated at the first sign of conflict and never tried to be patient and remember why they had loved each other so much to begin with. It's such a good life lesson in general. There is a reason for every decision and every situation, so instead of regretting that decision or finding every flaw in your situation you have to find the beauty in it and be willing to work through your negative emotions to find happiness in the situation you're in. And if something isn't right for you, that's okay, at least you see it with a clear head and with a better perspective. It reminded me of my negativity for a while while here.

I'm also working out so many things within myself here-finding a balance with working hard but not killing myself over my grades because, based on my values, they really shouldn't matter to me as much as they do. Also, I'm really really hard on myself and critical of almost every action  and almost every decision I make. I need to chill out more, stay in the moment, and not regret or get frustrated so easily. To see my situation with a clear head and view things through other people's perspectives.

Also, I have a huge test on Monday, and I'm ready to get down to business studying after movie night with Molly and Maria! This class-Geosciences-is a true challenge, but I knew that and wanted that from the start. I now understand why it's important for me, and it's going to help my Spanish academic vocabulary tremendously!

Anddd....I've been talking to Teresita (program director) about my class issues and she spent literally five minutes the other day telling me how wonderful my spanish has gotten, how it's because I practice so much (I do, sadly, speak English well Spanglish to a lot of American friends here but clearly never to my host family nor my Costa Rican friends though) how I am so confident when I speak, how I barely have an accent, how I hardly make mistakes!! Such a confidence booster, although other people think I have a German accent...that's interesting

Also, I finally started volunteer work with InBioParque...I'm in the Education department, but today I just did survey entry into the computer. However, I wasn't even frustrated with going through surveys of hundreds of kids and counting how many felt a certain way about each aspect of the environment and of their education because I completely get how it's important. I get that I'm not here for long and that it's hard to get me, especially since Spanish is not my first language, working on a project directly with kids. And someone has to do it! It really wasn't bad-after all the work I've had lately sitting at a computer for a few hours listening to my I pod and counting up survey results was actually pretty relaxing.

Anyway, I thought I was just going to write a few sentences, guess that never happens with me...