if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. i do it because i like it.

1.

She placed the bucket of water

On top of her oil gray black hair

Her sunken bicep swelling

Tightening her crinkling burnt potato chip skin

The yellows, oranges, pinks

Of her wupeel glowing so that I squinted

As she looked pointedly into my eyes

“cuantos anos tienes?” How old are you?

“Tengo veinte cinco anos” 25

“Donde esta su esposo?” Where is your husband?

I blushed. “No tengo un esposo” I don’t have one

Disbelief clouded her tree bark eyes

For just a moment

As if my singleness alone made it clear that I wasn’t ready

Then her sandled feet crunched through the rows of crops

Water sloshing in the bucket

But none spilling over

I glanced at the barbed wire fence containing their property

Her two little barefoot grandchildren

Stood behind it

grabbing the smooth part of the metal

They stared at me

As if I was a photographer

Who came to capture

A new popular image

Of Third World Latin American Living conditions

With their dirt encrusted skin

Protruding bellies and skinny legs

And snotty, sweat-stained hand me down clothes

And not their new mother.

2.

The edges of his ear seal against the door

His eyes pinching half shut with wrinkles at the corners

His lips pressing together and pushing out

While his fingers frantically scavenge his left nostril

She stares at the door frame in front of her

Her hand pulling at the front of her shirt, resting on her belly underneath

Scrunching up her toes, calves, thighs, then releasing

While her unmoving eyes pry the top layer off of the door

His eyes widen, pupils stretching

Crowding out more and more white space

His left hand smearing the contents of his search

On the door frame

While his right hand, palm flat pushes so hard

Against the door, as if the harder he pushes

The more likely it is that the people behind it will make the right decision

Her eyes, watering from her unwavering staring contest

Finally dart down to where her hand sits

Stationary

The other hand grasps at crisp air

Until it finds his hand and pulls it towards where her other hand rests

So he can feel the kick

Right before her parents shuffle out of the room

With swollen red eyes

And heartbroken lips

Forcing out words they’ll always wish

they hadn’t said

3.

They proudly displayed the 10 4x6s nailed to the tree

They took us inside their church with laughter on their lips and flutters in their steps

The little girls with baby brothers on their hips

Dust in their hair and clay shoved under their nails

And they thanked me over and over again for coming

When the cost of the trip was mere pocket change to my parents

But it was the value of everything they had and their homes

A silly little point and shoot camera

Pulled hundreds of toddlers, children, parents

Into a tight huddle around me

Just to glimpse the images I had taken

And blush, giggle, and look away when I pointed it at them

I sat in a chair and they in the dirt

My face freshly scrubbed

While their tears stuck their hair to their faces

But when we stood up

They surrounded each other

While I slid off of my plastic chair

4.

With lips cracked and blistering he sang to her

Gently whispering his lullaby, feather tickling her ear

She felt his lips spreading into a smile

As she cupped his cheek in her burnt calloused palm

A slim tear crawled down the bridge of his nose, trickled over his swollen lips

She knew because it slipped into her ear, rounding into a bead and resting inside

A cough thumped her chest,

Made her whole body tremble,

Cracked her throat

She tried to sit up on the warn woven dull pink and red blanket

The pain and the heat wrapped their fingers around her shoulders and pinned her down

He smoothed her sweaty hair behind her ear and kept on singing

As the wind whipped a breath of hot, needle prickling sand in through the tent door

She was the only one who didn’t need to close her eyes

As they sat blank and dull

staring without watching.

5.

She looked up from her paper and crayons

Her lips pursed, brows cinched in thought

She tapped her “pink paradise” painted toes

From her perch at her plastic alphabet table

Her hand reached to her belly

Scratching the shimmering purple fabric of her princess dress

The jagged bottom of the sheer fabric falling just above her little pink knees

Then her eyes widened and brightened

And she quickly reached her little fingers

Into her shining yellow ringlets

Pulling them into a dancing ponytail

As she took up the orange crayon

And began scribbling again

She was a princess even surrounded by

Children she didn’t know

And parents she couldn’t call her own

Imagine who she could be

With the chance to eat more than canned corn

And Kraft macaroni and cheese

And to go to art classes and take dance lessons

Showing off to a mother, an aunt, a grandmother

Even a friend

the name no spanish speaking individual will ever understand when i try to say it...

So today some of us woke up SUPER early to head to Parque Nacional Braulio Carrillo which is a short bus ride from San Jose which is a short bus ride from Heredia. And we figured out the buses and everything! (With kind of a lot of advice from Tracy beforehand…) Anyway, it was a really small park but it was really beautiful and we hiked a bit and saw these crazy looking spiders and WILD MONKEYS in the trees! Super rad. We also only had to pay $2 because we’re students at UNA and the buses were really cheap too! And I ate my granola and margarine sandwich for lunch along with some fruit and a piece of homemade cake. You’ll all be happy to know that I bought myself a jar of peanut butter (DUDE OVER FIVE BUCKS for Jiff cause they barely eat it here) for future occasions such as this upon returning to Heredia. When I got back my padres and uncle and cousins here were in the kitchen just chilling and talking and laughing. I joined them for like two hours just eating fruit and another piece of a different homemade dessert and talking. It was seriously so much fun! My tio is hilarious and speaks really good English because he spent six months in Minneapolis, MN in high school so he helped me when I couldn’t think of Spanish words. And it’s getting so much easier to understand things (most of the time). And we talked about movies and Will Smith and food and working out and we laughed a lot and I explained to them details of how to play ultimate Frisbee IN SPANISH AND THEY UNDERSTOOD and got him really wanting to play. Then since it was raining and I needed to work out again (I know, I’m insane) I did spinning on their spinning bike for 45 minutes. It was great and I got rull sweaty which is my favorite. And I’m super tired and was gonna go out dancing tonight but now think we’re just gonna see a movie which is better because I didn’t get much sleep last night from talking to Marco for like an hour and a half when he got home. And for part of it he was talking in Spanish, English, Portuguese, and a bit of Italian cause he had had Portuguese class today and probably just because he wanted to confuse me. We joke around with each other a lot and get along really well. And during our conversation he noticed how I take pleasure in other people’s misfortunes and that I always need to be right…even when I know I’m wrong…I thought I was better about that, but maybe not…maybe now I’m still like that but it’s a little more lighthearted. Anyway, tangent as usual. Tomorrow I’m going to what I understood as a castle that’s like a country club with mucha naturaleza and places to play sports and stuff with my family and uncle and his family (I think his wife is this really cool woman I got along with SUPER well when I met her last week, they remind me of each other…that is if I’m thinking of the right person). Anyway, check out the fb pics. Peacee.

this was supposed to go up yesterday but my internet decided not to work...no worries, i fixed it today by cluelessly (not a word) and probably dangerously messing with plugs as usual and somehow figuring it out

Such a lazy day today!! But I actually was fine with it; I didn’t get restless or frustrated like usual. I stayed inside the house planning the weekend, doing exercises, eating, helping my mom cook, reading, doing homework, and facebook chatting with some people from home whom I miss dearly. Last night I went to a few bars with Maria, our friend Walter who we know through Tracy and who speaks nearly perfect English and loves to correct our Spanish, and some of Walter’s friends. Man are Tico men friendly and forward. They were really nice though and were really shocked when I told them they were aggressive. It was really funny us working on our Spanish skills and them working on their English ones. After the first bar we went to this other one owned by this guy who comes from 30 minutes away from Maria in Minnesota who came to Costa Rica to go to school, stayed, fell in love with a Tica, opened up a bar with her, and now they’re getting married! There was a black wall we got to write all over in glow in the dark markers-mad cool.

So today, after eating cake and granola for breakfast (normal), I helped my host mama cook. Well I mostly watched and cut some chayote (a vegetable high in Vitamin C and amino acids that’s a cross between a potato and a cucumber. Yeahh wiki). I needed to cover my hands in oil while pealing and cutting it because apparently the skin can irritate you. Also, apparently cutting onion after putting it in the fridge for a while makes it easier not to cry. Anyway, I’ll explain how to make some of the things because they’re mad good. So picadillo is really simple. All you need is chopped chayote (sooo cheap here! $0.60 for 3!), canned corn, onion, garlic, a little bit of margarine/butter, salt, pepper, and you can add other seasoning or meat (BLECHHH) or something else if you want. But if you’re using my recipe you best not use meat. You just cook it all in a pot, then eat it like a soup mixed with rice or poured over rice. Then we made platanos a really yummy and cool way. All you need is a sliced super ripe plantain that you put in a pot with a little water (dude like nothing is measured here because they’ve made these recipes so many times), some sugar, and cinnamon, and cook it until the plantains are really soft and maybe a little brown and the sauce is syrupy. NOM. I ate so many for lunch I’m still feelin’ it. Then I watched fascinated as she made this super cool rice drink. I forget the name, but what you do is cook a pot of rice with pineapple rinds and cinnamon. Then when it’s super soft you put it in a blender until it’s pureed really well. Then you strain the pulpy stuff out with a really fine strainer and I think she said you could use the pulp to make something but she didn’t. Then you put it (the strained liquid) back in the blender and put some sugar in and blend it again. Then it’s ready, but you can also add flavored colored syrup which she likes to do to make it this pepto pink color. Then you serve it cold. She says she doesn’t like to make it that often because it’s so much work and other drinks (they drink so much juice here!) are just fruit, water, and sugar. But her husband really loves it and she loves him so much (it’s actually so cute) that she likes making it for him. Oh, and then she made some jelly. All it was was guayaba and a little bit of cas (two fruits here that make super good juice and jelly and that they love plain but I really think the plain thing must be an acquired taste. Unless you’re Dan or Andrew in which case I’m sure you’ll like it because it’s food and it’s vegan and someone is giving it to you for free) and water and sugar. It’s a trend. And you put it in a pot until it boils then lower the heat then keep it there until it thickens and turns red then let it cool and you can use it on bread. Sidenote, I love how they leave their pulp in the juices using the entire fruit in the blender (yeah fiber!), eat mangos skin and all, and the word “mix” (as in brownie mix, although they don’t really eat brownies) is foreign, not just because it’s English, but because they make shit from scratch. Although they really love their margarine and mayonnaise on like everything…Anyway, I’m gonna eat some dinner (should not be hungry) and then gotta wake up at six am tomorrow to head to a nearby national park for the day. Peacee. Oh, just ate and came back upstairs and in that time realized that I forgot cilantro (cilantro) for the picadillo. It’s ESSENTIAL. In pretty much every savory thing cooked here. Also, I sifted through the beans, important because you’re supposed to throw away the halves you find and also because there are often little stones in the bags of the beans which should not be eaten. Apparently it’s happened before, and host madre said it’s a good thing her husband has a good sense of humor…Also, what I ate for dinner aka beans cooked with onions and garlic and just a tiny bit of salt with rice with some fresh tomato, cilantro, and lime juice (from the lime tree out back) squeezed on top is magnifico. Oh, and I just made myself the weirdest lunch ever for tomorrow out of the things I could find, consisting of a sandwich  (on this weird bread with little pieces of dyed fruit in it) with margarine and granola on it, a banana, a mandarin, and a piece of homemade cake. 

Toni Morrison and Dancing here and afar

Okay so I am just really obsessed with Toni Morrison. I liked her when we read Jazz in the class of one of my favorite professors, then I loved her when she was the convocation speaker at Rutgers graduation, and the obsession has been solidified throughout my reading of Tar Baby. I know I should be reading books in Spanish right now, but this book is just so wonderful. And then I have The Omnivore’s Dilemma waiting for me. Anyway, I’ve rabbit eared some paragraphs from this book that I don’t understand how anyone can write this beautifully and profoundly. She has found the perfect mix of deep understanding, cleverness, amusement, pessimism, optimism, and the immense importance of perspective. Here are two of them.

p. 221 “He took off his clothes and filled the tub, smiling to think of what the leaden waves of the Atlantic had become in the hands of civilization. The triumph of ingenuity that had transferred the bored treachery of the sea into a playful gush of water that did exactly what it was told. And why not? Wildness wasn’t wild anymore or threatening; wildlife needed human protection to exist at all”.

p. 242 “At some point in life the world’s beauty becomes enough. You don’t need to photograph, paint or even remember it. It is enough. No record of it needs to be kept and you don’t need someone to share it with or tell it to. When that happens—that letting go—you let go because you can. The world will always be there—while you sleep it will be there—when you wake it will be there as well. So you can sleep and there is reason to wake. A dead hydrangea is as intricate and lovely as one in bloom. Bleak sky as seductive as sunshine, miniature orange trees without blossom or fruit are not defective; they are that”.

Anyway, I hope the three people reading my blog give Toni a chance. I’m going to attack my stash of her other books as soon as I get home. Alright, well you’re all probably reading these to know about Costa Rica. So this was the week I was supposed to start classes, but we had Monday off (that cuts out two of them) and I got super lost trying to find General Ecology, got there a half hour late with Anna and Rachel-the two other gringas in my class-only to find out the professor had never shown up and the other students had left. The only other class I’ve had other than our mandatory Spanish class with the other Americans was Intro to Costa Rican Dance. I thought it would be filled with study abroad students and a few Ticos all clueless about dancing but all looking to learn a bit and have fun. Well, turns out that aside from us five international kids, everyone else in that class is like an intense dancer. EVERYONE, other than us that is, including the guys, was wearing leotards and tights. Oh, also, I was about 20 minutes late to that class too, lost with Anna again…I suck with direction. But we learned part of a dance, and it seems like it’ll be FUN!!

      Other than that, I’ve had several life talks and spent a good amount of time with my Madre and eaten all of her leftover homemade desserts (including the Costa Rican version of CREAM PUFFS as part of my breakfast!!) Oh, and Maria is really great! I met her boyfriend the other day, and it was really funny because the mom only cooks vegetarian now and her boyfriend brought takeout food in when he ate dinner with us so he could have meat. And they are so nice that they asked me if the smell of meat bothered me. Also, I had talked to Marco about ceviche the other day and how he loved it but I couldn’t do the fish and that might have been why he made us ceviche for lunch today except instead of fish he used green plantains. It was BALLER. Also, I walk so much here!! I like coming home for lunch because the food is better at my house than at restaurants AND it’s free! So since it’s like 1.5 miles to school I walked six miles just getting to and from school yesterday! I also have been running almost everyday, most of the time with Marco, some of the time by myself. So even though I eat a lot of really good food, I’m super healthy from all of the exercise I get and because my family eats very small dinners and no late night snacks (big breakfast, small dinner=super healthy!)

So I’m thinking this weekend (no classes on Fridays woooot) I’m going to go dancing at this famous place in San Jose and go on this all day religious walk and go to a National Park and other things!! I need to type up some of my poems man. Motivate me.

Jaco Taco Paco Saco

So I write this to you hungry. It’s been a while since I’ve even been able to say that here haha. Anyway, I just got back a few hours ago from a weekend in Jaco, the closest beach to Heredia. A bunch of us from the program took a bus there on Saturday in a few shifts, some came back yesterday, and the rest came back today. I went late on Saturday because I played my first game of paintball ever with my host brother, his cousins, and his cousin’s friends in the morning to celebrate his cousin’s birthday. Man was I confused. They explained the rules in extremely rapid Spanish, and everyone playing knew each other and joked around speaking fast Spanish the whole time. But they were all really nice, and I had a lot of fun! However, my head and hands and throat seemed to be excellent (and very painful) targets for paintballs.

      In Jaco we stayed at a hostel a five minute walk from the beach. The hostel had a rainbow gate, a tie-dye van parked out front, and cost $11 per night in non air conditioned room and $13 a night in an air conditioned room. The owner is a large perpetually shirtless quite tan Hungarian man with shaggy blonde hair named “Chubs” even though he isn’t fat. Turns out that’s actually just his real name. We almost bonded over both of us being Hungarian except for the issue that he actually was from there and I’m ¼ Hungarian and kept naming German foods in a failed attempt to recall my Hungarian roots. Jaco is an interesting place. This hostel in particular had peace signs painted on the walls, a bathroom that clearly wasn’t cleaned very often, a beautiful little pool, bunk beds, and some eclectic inhabitants. There was a 36 year old glass blower covered in tattoos from the Midwest, Mike from Jersey, Trace from Jamaica but actually Arizona, among several others. The atmosphere is extremely laid back with pretty much no rules. Jaco itself is a little bit of a tourist trap with more bars and restaurants and shops than well preserved natural beauty. The beach is hazy and hot with some murky warm water, good surfing, and an apparently dangerous undertow. Most of us didn’t shower for the 2 days we were there because it seemed like it might only make us dirtier, and we had the pool right there. We had a bonfire on the beach, bought stuff to cook our own dinner both nights (salad, pasta, and fruit salad the first night and stir fry, guacamole, and platanos maduros with maple syrup and vanilla the second night). We ran on the beach, did beach yoga and abs, hung out by the pool, listened to Trace freestyle rap to a random song for ten minutes straight, explored our different musical tastes, played chess, and sweated a lot. We ate brunch both days for $4 a person at this amazing place with large portions of delicious food. We never had the energy to really get dressed in anything other than cookie monster t shirts, bathing suits, sports bras, and running shorts and never actually got around to checking out the dancing scene like we had planned. It was a pretty great weekend in a pretty sweet place-what I’ve always dreamed a hippie hostel would be like. Except not truly hippie because our Hungarian host believed in eating a lot of meat and that the planet will correct itself no matter how many horrible things we do to it. He thrived off of all of the cool stuff people had left there over the years-a guitar, a Cracker Barrel game, towels, food, etc. The bus ride back was pretty sweaty and cramped because for some reason they sold tickets to people without seats unlike on the way there. There were people standing for almost two hours, apparently little girls throwing up from motion sickness, and way too much body heat, but I missed a lot of it because I slept almost the whole way. Oh how great a shower felt when I got back. I think I’ll like some other beaches better-ones that are significantly further away but that are cleaner and with better preserved natural beauty, but I’m definitely glad I went there. I start classes tomorrow! Although on Tuesdays I only have the mandatory Spanish class with other students from my program. I’m also taking Intro to Sculpture, General Ecology, Costa Rican Dance, and Geosciences. Probably an easy semester? But it’ll all be in Spanish so maybe not…

lists are the same in spanish. because numbers are the same.

Okay so I feel like I should write today because it’s possible that I won’t get another chance to before Monday…it’ll be short though. I am LOVING it here. I love the city, love the country, love the friendliness, happiness, and kindness of the people. I already feel comfortable in Heredia! I feel like writing in bullet points today so that’s what’s going down. In the shwizown. I don’t neva frown.

1. My Spanish is muchisima major. Like so much better. At least I think so?
2. I eat so much food here. Thank the lord my family eats healthy most of the time and mostly vegetarian. Not good that my madre is an AMAZING baker and my hermano an AMAZING chef.
3. Thank you Marco for waking up early to run with me all the time even though you don’t have to be at work until the afternoon
4. I need to find a yoga studio
5. I need to learn how to salsa and meringue
6. I can actually get to and from school now all on my lonesome
7. Drivers here are slightly insane, and crosswalks mean nothing. I have learned the half cross sprint, wait, sprint again. Unless I’m running and then mr. hermano over there likes to run in the middle of the street and not really tell me in advance when we have to cross. I’m actually kind of street smart. Kind of. Except for trying to text while crossing the street. Bad idea in the US, much much worse here.
8. I’m kind of offended because all of the blonde girls get cat called all the time and I never really do. I think it’s because I’m absurdly tan at the moment with dark hair. I blend in man, which is pretty cool. At least until I open my mouth and the New Jersey in me comes out. Except a relative today told me my accent was excellent. But she also went on about how she feels bad for people who are too beautiful after I brought up the cat calling thing and how it’s better to just be a little bit pretty because you’re happier then. I figured she wouldn’t be telling me that if she thought I was in the beautiful category…
9. There were many pigeons in San Jose today, Tara slapped one into my face. It was one of the stranger experiences I’ve ever had.
10. Last night I couldn’t even handle how funny it was when this “hombre” (not naming names, also he wasn’t even drunk) at a bar tried to take a large shot and then continue his conversation with me. His eyes got very watery and he looked a little nauseous. Then his cheeks bulged. And although I told him not to swallow it and to go to the bathroom he tried to anyway. And that’s how he spewed all over the floor and drew one of the workers over with a mop, who was no doubt muttering “stupid gringo” under his breath while cleaning it up. Especially funny when this “hombre” rallied right up and took another shot and complained about the waste of the first.
11. I played The Lords of Liechtenstein (yeah brothers!) for Justine on the bus today while we were both listening to my ipod and she said she loved the song in the middle of it and I was like guess what? That’s my brothers right thurrr.
12. I love attempts at English in texts. But it’s probably what I sound like in Spanish. “Hi Autumn is marco ! Do you come back home along or I tell my mom That pick you up ?” I’m sure it’s especially hard since his phone is probs set to Spanish T-9
13. I really want to know if Taco Bell has French fries. Then I want to shut down all of the fast food restaurants here after planking in every one of them.
14. If I had to live on one food for the rest of my life it would be plantains.
15. I really really love my host family. A lot.
16. Stray dogs will eat you if given the chance. Actually, maybe just Chatham.
17. I always bring too much of the wrong stuff when packing.
18. I tend to have very uncomfortable conversations with people without thinking that maybe I should filter what I’m saying.
19. It’s really really awkward to try to explain the shirt “Talk nerdy to me” in Spanish and using the relationship with the expression “Talk dirty to me” which I also had to explain. In Spanish. To a very very attractive individual.

I tried to post this two nights ago but the internet kept crashing so pretend this is tuesday night

Who was nervous about living with this family? It couldn’t have been me! They are seriously so so so wonderful. They are unbelievably welcoming and caring and put so much of their energy and heart into helping me feel comfortable here and learn Spanish. They talk to me about pretty much everything, and my madre made me a map of how to get to school and walks me there very slowly to make sure I know the turns. When I had to go to Walmart yesterday to get toiletries (which are, unlike most things, UNBELIEVABLY expensive here) almost the entire family came with me. Oh, and you all know how I don’t approve of Walmart, but apparently it’s their only big supermarket here and things are cheaper there and that’s where they took me because Walmart bought out their entire chain of supermarkets. It figures. It’s really sad how fast food and American corporations in general have so powerfully seeped into almost every other culture.

Anyway, I don’t really know where to begin. Or, for that matter, where to end. But the produce here is SO AMAZING I eat pineapple and avocado and mango and bananas and plantains and watermelon pretty much every day. I’ve also tried leechee fruit and pipa which is like coconut and then this really huge kind of mango, and there is a market right near my house and school. I don’t start classes until Tuesday which is good because I’m still getting accustomed to the 20-25 minute walking route to the university and to the campus which is pretty big, especially when compared to that of American. I love this city, and the weather is much less humid and rainy here and the perfect temperature. I’m very tan too.

So I got my host family members little gifts that I gave them as I met them. I got my host padre a Yankees hat and he really liked it! I made my host mom earrings, and she wore one pair yesterday and one today. I made Maria, my host sister earrings too, and she liked them a lot as well. She is so nice and easy going and always smiling and is working really hard for her school right now (she goes to a private college that isn’t on break right now like the school I am is) so I only talk to her and see her in snippets. She helped me find my stuff in Walmart yesterday. I met my host brother yesterday morning after I woke up and gave him his gift of a Yankees sweatshirt which he loved because apparently he leaves for work early in the morning and it’s cold outside and he needed one. He also is going to cooking school and works as a chef at a restaurant and makes the best food EVER. When they said he was studying “gastronomia” I thought they said “astronomia” and was really confused as to why someone who was one of the best cooks ever and who had just cooked me a gourmet VEGAN meal served like a 5 star restaurant was studying astronomy. It took me a while to figure that out. Typical…He’s super friendly and outgoing and walked me to school yesterday. He likes to walk in the street rather than the sidewalk and drivers here are just slightly insane. He also likes to walk in a zig zag to get to the university so he doesn’t have to stay on one street for too long, which, as you can imagine, confused me just slightly, since when I walked with his mom she gave me a million landmarks and slowly explained the three turns I had to make with her. He made probably twenty and then was like, “it’s easy, you just have to make a right here then a left here then another three lefts then a right then go straight then another left then a right…” you get my point. It was not easy. Even if I didn’t have a horrible sense of direction. But he practiced speaking English, which he’s pretty good at, and I responded in Spanish. Oh, and when the dad came to pick me up he had, you guessed it, a different way to get back. But I think I know the route now.

So yesterday I had a pretty bad headache and congestion, maybe from being wet and in the sun so much and on the boat this weekend, so when I went out last night to see Harry Potter (in English, thank goodness, because I had only seen the first three so I barely understood what was going on in this one in English…) I came back early and passed out. I ran in a little park near here early this morning before my entire day of touring the city and the school so I was fried by the end of today as well. There are a lot of places to get gym memberships and to take classes for really cheap, but I think I’m going to continue to run and do strength stuff in my room until I work out my schedule (which is what Traci, one of our leaders suggested). I also really really want to find a yoga studio! All in time, I guess. Mi hermano here said we would take dance classes together because he used to do traditional Latin American dance but wants to refresh himself, and I want to learn. But I will make such a fool out of myself. Such a fool. So we’ll see how that goes and if it happens how long it will take until he refuses to associate with me anymore.

So I need to find a good balance between Spanish and English. I speak only Spanish with my family and everything, but I speak a lot of English to my American friends. Because it’s just so difficult to really get to know people better and to tell stories in Spanish. But I need to be able to do it! Oh, and guess what people!! A bunch of us are going to San Jose on September 12^th to see the CHILE PEPPERS perform. Ready, set, be jealous. Also, my host brother went out and bought me soy milk. And they asked me what I typically eat for breakfast in the US so they got me granola and tea and mi madre made me the most adorable breakfast of fruit arranged all gourmet like with garnish. And fresh juice with a lemon in the glass. And granola and soy milk. And tea. And gallo pinto (beans and rice). It was so precious and thoughtful and wonderful. And my host mom is a baker and made the most amazing desserts because someone ordered them from her for a party and she had extras. And she paints too! And my host dad cooks as well, and his whole huge family cooks amazing food apparently. Dude I better keep running or I’m gonna get so fat.

And my host mom never feels good when she eats meat and doesn’t eat it much and told me I’ve inspired her to be vegetarian! She wants to try it! Which is a huge step for someone here. And tonight we had this wonderful conversation about religion (the family is very religious and Catholic, as are most families here) and how it should bind people together supporting each other and people need to find and appreciate what’s similar between their different religions rather than always fighting against each other.

She also told me that Marco, my host brother, lived in a village in Argentina for a while with seven other boys, and they all worked and had to pool their money at the end of the day and split it evenly and learn how to portion it out so that they had enough for each thing in everyday life. SUCH A GOOD LESSON. I think it’s mostly important because it shows the benefits of a communally focused attitude. Communism fails because no one is motivated to work since they won’t benefit any more from working harder. But here since it’s on such a small scale if someone works harder and makes more money, each person will see the benefits and have a little more at the end of each day. But Cold War status American opinion would be like WHAT?! COMMUNISM?! As a lesson?! It’s Communism!! That’s a horrible idea!! Let’s go in and teach them what’s right and what’s best! Capitalism!! I mean, when I was talking to her we didn’t go into all that political stuff, just the importance of understanding the concept of sharing and helping other people.

 She also told me all about her mother and how much she admires her. She is 80, lives on her own in a house next door, walks everyday, sings, gardens, and cooks, and has always been adventurous and an amazing healer for people and animals. She seems magical-I only met her briefly yesterday, but she was wonderful and looks about 20 years younger than she is. So, anyway, I am having a marvelous time and getting more and more comfortable here. Clearly I need some practice since yesterday I tried to pay the cab driver 13.000 colones (which is 13,000 or 26 dollars) when it really was 1.300 colones (less than 3 dollars). It was a ten minute cab ride. Thank goodness he was honest enough to correct me and not steal my money. Well, mi hermano left me a note in English asking me if I was running tomorrow so he could come with me and what time “for know what time to put the alarm” and I left him one in Spanish telling him I’d run at seven. So I think I’m going to stop now so I have time to try to put my pictures on photobucket and go to sleep so I can get up early. I really want my Spanish to get better and not to fail my classes! Buenas noches a todos!

from Liberia to Heredia and possibly back again...

So I’m so glad I don’t have to write this blog in Spanish because I just have so much to say! So I went out for the first time to a bar and a discoteca with other members of my group on Thursday and we realized that it was okay to speak English. Which was an important thing in order to actually get to know each other better. And now we kind of speak Spanglish which is pretty perfect because I’m still practicing my Spanish by speaking it to everyone else but getting to know the people in my program on a much less superficial level. Everyone is seriously GREAT. I cannot tell you one person I don’t like!          Okay, so to begin, after going out on Thursday and dancing the night away and coming home wreaking of smoke because so many people smoked in the club and drenched in sweat I realized how much fun this semester is going to be and that homesickness is normal and it takes time to get used to anything this different. Talking to my dad also helped so much because he reminded me of what I’ve believed for a while, that Costa Rica contains a prime example of the lifestyle I wish most people had-laid back, not gluttonous, open, and close knit. And while the streets might not all be perfectly clean, the parks not all pristinely maintained, and the houses without dishwashers, all of those things are really not a big deal and are part of a less materialistic lifestyle.

            So Friday we had a fiesta with all of our Liberia host families. I had to help my abuela cook our assigned arroz con pollo which is ironic because I’m one of two people who doesn’t eat meat. But all I actually had to do was cut vegetables. The fiesta was actually really really fun. We all brought our dishes, and I went with Adrian and Adriana because my host mother, Iris, self described as “una mujer moderna” even though she’s 52, had to go to San Jose for work. The group of us IFSA kids donned colorful traditional garb and then attempted to perform the three Costa Rican dances we had learned, laughing at ourselves and crashing into each other the entire time. The music had to stop several times and start over once because we were so bad. But it was a lot of fun. We then got to eat and hang out.

There was a festival going on nearby with food and dancing and cows and other cool things, and I decided to go with my friend Abe and his host family. The only thing was I didn’t exactly think about that decision because I left my host brother and sister who are only fourteen to find a cab themselves, while neither of them have cell phones, and apparently neither of them had keys or money. And then I peaced. Their mom called and seemed kind of worried about that decision so I decided to go back to bring them home, but they had already left. So then I started worrying. Ten minutes later I was searching for a cab with Chatham pretty unsuccessfully while freaking out, walking in circles and continually repeating “I’m going to cry” because apparently the kids hadn’t gotten home yet. But everything ended up being okay. I felt so bad because I almost lost the kids after only knowing them a few days.

When I got home I apologized a million times, kept hugging them and telling them how happy I was, and then went out to the festival. It was so much fun! Abe’s host brother Mau and then his host cousin taught me how to salsa and meringue; they were so much fun and so sweet. Mau’s best friend thinks I’m the funniest thing ever; he literally just laughed at me constantly. Whenever I broke it down on the dance floor or tried to say anything in Spanish he just looked at me and cracked up. Mau says it’s because I’m really nice…for all of you who know me and my dancing and Spanish capabilities I’m sure you agree that isn’t it.

But seriously guys here are either slightly creepy on the dance floor and make you run away to one of your friends and insist he’s your boyfriend or they’re the most chivalrous people ever. They pull out your chair, pay for your cab, and greet you with a kiss on the cheek. That has never really happened to me before…well actually I won’t say never but not until recently in the US.

Saturday we woke up very early to go on an adventure. We went on a hike to Rincon de la Vieja National Park see all of these crazy trees and vents and thermal mud pools and a huge waterfall. It then started torrential down pouring during our hike and we had a slightly treacherous hike back and had to sit on the bus and go to lunch soaked. Oh, and did I mention that even though it was apparently mentioned approximately nine times in Spanish that we weren’t going back to our home base hotel that night where all of our luggage was I still thought we were and literally brought nothing with me other than the bathing suit, shirt, shorts, and rain jacket I was wearing, a Costa Rican guidebook, a towel and sunglasses.

So then we went to the hot springs where there were like five natural Jacuzzis of all different temperatures to soak in and a middle aged man with a garbage bag cape painted us with mud that is good for your skin. It was SO COOL and we stayed there for a super long time. Since I didn’t bring any change of clothes with me I put back on my damp hiking clothes with nothing under them since my bathing suit was wet. We proceeded to Hotel Ocotal which is right on the Coco beach in Guanacaste where we ate dinner and even though I had barely slept the past two nights I couldn’t resist going to the parties on the beach at night where we again danced the night away (me in those same super lovely I’m sure very smelly clothes). I managed to shower and borrow clothing to sleep in afterwards.

This morning we woke up before seven to realize that our hotel was right on the beach and one of the most beautiful places ever (familia, you need to stay at this hotel when you come!) Then we ate this awesome buffet breakfast and went out in this pirate ship called, creatively, La Perla Negra. The issue is it’s been storming all week, the boat is made of wood, I barely slept, and I get very motion sick. That boat literally rocked like the buccaneer. It was ridiculous and very difficult for me to get through with my breakfast in my stomach. When we got back we went swimming and ate some lunch, showered, and I put on those same really really dirty shorts, and got on the bus to head to Liberia to get our luggage. Once there I actually put on clean clothes then we took the bus to Heredia!

After 3.5 hours on a bus with Hello Kitty toilet paper in the bathroom we got here and were picked up by our host families. My house is beautiful, pretty big, and I have my very own room with a lovely closet and my own bathroom. Also, my family ate really delicious salad for dinner. And they eat almost completely vegetarian! So I’m not going to have a problem at all being almost completely vegan. The family is very sweet and friendly and welcoming, and my host sister is lovely. My host brother apparently works a lot, so I have yet to meet him. I sat with them to say grace which was pretty weird for me. Then the mother told me the rules of the house. I have to wash all of my dishes after using them, make my bed every day (that should be interesting…), tell her where I’m going at all times, never come home drunk, and only have friends over if she’s home and never have them in my room. I guess it’s all pretty reasonable, but it makes me pretty nervous because their daughter seems pretty perfect and the house is so pristine. I feel like I’m going to mess something up with my occasional lack of common sense…Okay well that was a long entry, and I am so unbelievably tired I don’t know how I’m functioning. But I’m super excited to be in Heredia; it’s pretty bustling and much more like an actual city than Liberia and really close to San Jose. I just wish I was closer to a beach! A few friends and I want to go back to Liberia to visit and go to the beach for a weekend when there’s nicer weather and meet up with some people from our host families and everything. We shall see! I really really love my room a lot and the fact that I’m unpacked and no longer living out of extremely disorganized suitcases.

So it might be a little harder than I thought to have a complete Pura Vida attitude, but there are many things that help me through it...

So today was the day that I started thinking too much. I guess I knew it would happen, but I just didn’t know when. It has been raining pretty much constantly here in Liberia, and I’m really not too great with a lot of bad weather. It frustrates both me and my very large hair. It’s the rainy season here, but apparently during this month it especially rains a lot in Liberia (where I am for orientation).

After Spanish class during which I, as usual, made a fool out of myself, we had Costa Rican dance class where at least everyone made fools out of themselves and possibly myself a little less than some people. Then, Stacy’s (a girl here from North Carolina) host family picked her and me up from the University of Costa Rica to go to the beach. I, like the brilliant individual I am, was wearing a bathing suit and a dress and brought a towel even though it was pouring and did not bring my camera. I have yet to take a single picture. But I did bring my lovely purple rain jacket my wonderful father bought me. We went to three beaches which were beautiful. Oh, and as can be assumed, they would have been much more beautiful if it wasn’t raining.

Stacy’s host family consists of a 17 year old girl Stephanie and two parents (there is an older brother who is a dentist who works all day) and at the beach her parents bought us something called a “copo” which has shaved ice and milk and flavored syrup and was delicious (I know I know I ate milk but I figured it was a plato tipico and I needed to try it and I was really hungry because I’m used to being fed huge quantities of food here and I hadn’t eaten lunch-only a huge breakfast and a snack-clearly not enough). So then we went to this canopy place where tons of gringo tourists go to zipline through the rain forest. But we went to see the monkeys and the snakes. Which made me sad because I never liked zoos and seeing animals in boring cramped little cages when they never did anything to deserve it. But then we GOT TO HOLD THE SNAKES. And it was really REALLY cool and the snakes were smooth and you could feel their muscles and they could bend their bodies in super cool ways while you were holding them! So I liked it more then. And then they asked us if we wanted to hold monkeys. And I didn’t want to seem like the wimp I am who is kind of freaked out by monkeys because they’re too smart and too nimble and too much like humans except they have the sense not to talk. I feel like they know everything, and they really like to mess with us. Anyway, I went into the monkey’s cage with Stacy and this man who was probably on his luna de miel (honeymoon is the same in Spanish!) but first we had to take off our rings and bracelets and hair ties because monkeys will steal things (again, because they really like to mess with us). They’ll even go into your pockets and take things! And then monkeys jumped on my head and tried to go up my dress and felt me up and cleaned my scalp and it was seriously so weird but really cool (don’t worry fam, Stacy brought her camera and there will be pictures on facebook). And one monkey even took out one of Stacy’s stud earrings and put it in his mouth! I have no idea how he did it or how we got it out. And it’s so weird because all of us on the trip only speak Spanish to each other and everyone else even when people speak English.

 So I had a lot of fun, but I was getting that blechhy feeling all day like I get when I haven’t worked out in a day slash it’s raining and I got kind of homesick and was really sick of the rain and wanted to talk to someone easily without having to work so hard to know what to say. And then I was questioning myself like should I have gone to Costa Rica at this time of year? And is this too much of a culture shock for me? And then I couldn’t even recognize my house when they brought me back and it was really pathetic and kind of hilarious because my sense of direction has hit a new low. But we called my host brother and we found the house. Then everything got better because I found a way to get exercise! When I got back I asked my host siblings if they wanted to play Frisbee in the park even though it was drizzling, and we had so much fun! They got so much better in the mere hour we played for. I taught them how to catch and how to do “up” calls and everything! And we returned with all of us really dirty and really sweaty, and I still had monkey juice in my hair. I did some conditioning exercises in my room (typical…), told my host mother that I would of course eat some dinner, took a shower, then ate rice and beans and squash stuffed with vegetables which I covered in picante which I am now OBSESSED with even though I thought I didn’t even like spicy food. Then I talked to my host mom for an hour about the love lives of her previous host daughters and how I plan to bring home a Tico boy (just kidding Mom…actually, maybe not?) and about her trip travelling the United States through US AID and how through all of her trips to the states she still doesn’t know English and has no desire to and we looked through old photo albums and talked about the prices of college (here public is FREE and private is $400 a semester! Es loco!) and of real estate and it was really nice and I understood everything she said! And I think she probably understood most of what I said. It was a really nice ending to the day, and now I’m still a little homesick, but I’m feeling good about everything. I think I just need time to adjust. It’s weird how much more open space there is here but how much less there is at the same time-between the houses and in the streets and everything. I think that’s what’s hardest for me to adjust to. I probably expected everything to be on huge chunks of property, with tropical vegetation surrounding everything, but it’s definitely different…Vamos a ver que manana llevara…Wow, that all made much more sense in my head. When I read through it it sounds ridiculous and super scatterbrained, but I guess that’s how my mind works. Sorry about the run on sentences and the lack of paragraphs and my awful attempts at being funny…

Liberia Orientation with my first wonderful host family!!

I write to you from a beautiful casa in Liberia, Costa Rica where I am staying with my first host family for a mere five days while taking intensive Spanish classes and slowly but surely understanding how to function here. My luggage is STILL NOT HERE so therefore neither is their gift of maple syrup and a candle...The family consists of a mother, Iris, and her two wonderful 14 year old twins, Adrian and Adrianna. They are so friendly and so patient with my Spanish, so polite and so eager to learn about my life in New Jersey and how ¡it differs from their lives here. Every one is so relaxed, or, as I´m learning to say, ¡Pura Vida! They feed me A LOT of really good food, and I am easily staying almost completely vegan! Since (for some unknown reason) I managed to finagle my way into the higher level spanish class by getting what I believe to be the lowest grade that will allow me to be in it on my placement quiz, I don´t have class until 1:30 today! Ah! Apparently my luggage has arrived so I´m going to finish this fast so my host madre can take me to get it! So this morning I borrowed some sneakers and Iris drove me to a park so I could run laps in it for a half hour. It felt sooo good since I hadn´t gotten to work out since I arrived and you guys know me...But back to Adrian and Adriana, they, along with their 10 year old cousin, showed me around the neighborhood. I met some of their family-most of whom lives on their block! I told them how different it was for me...Sometimes it´s hard for me to understand them, and I am constantly thinking and trying to figure out how to say things, but I´m getting better. Hopefully I won´t have to pass out at 8 pm every night like I did last night out of mental exhaustion. I am astounded at how well these kids treat each other and their parents; it is so different from most of what I see at home. There is no yelling, no disrespect, and they have fun walking around the neighborhood, playing UNO with me, and watching futbol (soccer) on TV. I´m definitely not used to it here yet, but my bed is comfortable, the people are lovely, the food is fabulous, I can workout whenever I need, and I hope to soon adapt some pura vida attitude. In fact, I think I already have! I miss you famerly; happy happy happy happy birthday Noah and you will ace that driving test! Friends, I miss some of you ;). No phone here yet, but hopefully soon? I´m not too concerned; you all know I´m alive.

Some poetry my brother wants me to post

I wrote this a few weeks ago and figured since I'm blogging I might as well post it. No clue what it's called, and it's a little more depressing than my experience thus far in Costa Rica. Also, if I haven't forced you to listen to this yet and watch the video do so immediately. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDMqyv-fqm4

And she buried her face
in the folds of her mother's skirt
because the child reaching towards her
with a gaping palm creased in dirt
had a burnt brown face
and a chipped front tooth
His clothes were caked in mud,
as thin as a mosquito net
used to stop malaria
and torn at the knees
and around his green bean neck

She thrust her nose into the fabric
inhaling Chanel perfume and Downey detergent
because the woman on the corner
with the torn cup in her fist
was urinating on the cobblestones
the stream of yellow winding through the cracks
almost like raindrops sliding down her car window
except she wouldn't smear this with her finger
unlike rain it wasn't clear and glittering
and instead of reminding her
of her safety inside her big black car
this stream of liquid reminded her
that glossy cars and gated houses
didn't fly her off to a different world
they just made her more afraid of this one.

I have arrived!

            So I had a lovely flight from breathtaking Newark, New Jersey to industrial Liberia, Costa Rica during which I made friends with some lovely Swedish men. They distracted me from my usual plane claustrophobia as we discussed among other things gluttonous Americans. They had flown into Newark yesterday, spent the night in New York, stayed in Manhattan until the morning going to some Irish pubs and not changing their clothes and didn’t have a hotel so arrived in time for their flight from Newark at 9:08 exhausted and excited. Surprisingly, they were quite friendly and not at all smelly. It was their first time ever in the United States!

            We exited the plane at Liberia into sweltering heat and humidity with me dragging along my hiking backpacked swollen with an unnecessary quantity of last-minute “necessities” and an extremely heavy Jansport backpack which were merely my carry-ons. Oh, I’m definitely known for my light packing skills. Inside the tiny airport which had one baggage claim and two ceiling fans the size of my house I of course soon realized that Continental had left my checked bag at Newark along with Tara’s two bags. We’ll hopefully get them tomorrow morning? At least that’s what the woman said. I had a lot of my stuff in my hiking backpack so I’m fine for now.

            I of course look and act like such a spacey American (which I definitely am…) that I got overcharged for the taxi and every time I try to speak Spanish to the adorable hotel desk man he answers me in English. But my hotel is beautiful and has a pool with a slightly treacherous water slide that deposits you into a mere four feet of water (no one told me to tuck my knees…).

All of the students in my program are so friendly and wonderful and make me feel unbelievably comfortable. So many of my nerves are just melting away, and I of course have told my life’s story to most of them. Shockingly, they seem to actually think I’m funny…I mean, at least I’m friendly and not exactly intimidating even if I never shut up. I’ve also felt comfortable telling some of them about my mom’s dumpster diving excursions and my obsession with all things “hippie” for lack of a better word. I am so far still vegan, and I’m going to do my best to be “as vegan as possible” or whatever that means. Oh, but I assumed all food was cheap. And guess what. It’s not. I got my first ever legal strawberry daiquiri, a heart of palm salad, and beans and chips and spent 20 bucks! And I thought the portions would be small and that I was really hungry, but I didn’t come close to finishing all of it. Maybe I won’t be eating like the “truck driver” my mom knows and loves this trip…but we’ll see. I meet my Liberia host family tomorrow and start orientation-what? It’s not all just swimming and lying by the pool? Oh, and there are people here who share my music tastes; it’s great! I have some goals which include:

1. finding a yoga place

2. functioning at speaking Spanish

3. not failing my classes

4. making some amazing Costa Rican friends whom I will speak Spanish to and they will answer me in English

5. learning Costa Rican dance (aka gaining some coordination I realized I did not have while attempting “dance yourself thin” the other night)

6. have at least 10 Costa Rican men fall madly in love with me and follow me around, presenting me with small gifts and telling me how beautiful I am.

7. cook delicious vegan Costa Rican food for my host family

8. think of more goals

I’m going to miss all of you at home, but I am so ready for this! I think…