Okay so I was talking with my friend Rachel today and also thinking a lot and trying so hard to figure out what exactly is behind my disappointment with Heredia and with some of my experience in general. Don’t get me wrong here, I am learning SO MUCH about myself, a ton of Spanish, have met some spectacular people, and have had so many fun/amazing/stunningly beautiful experiences. But, I have this general unsettled feeling with everyday life on some days.
So on my walk to class I started to realize that a great deal of the frustration stems from the fact that we are in Costa Rica, one of the most beautiful and most sustainable places in the world, but that seems to play no role in anyone’s everyday life in Heredia. There is no active outdoorsy culture, no adjustments made to life to promote sustainability. It is slightly more built into their infrastructure, but it isn’t something that people actively do or think about to promote clean living or appreciate the outdoors. For example, buses are extremely popular, people only own one car if that, and people walk many places. But the mentality is similar as to the one you would find in any consumerist culture-decisions are made simply because they are cheaper, not because there is any more of a collective conscience of sustainability or a deeper rooted connection and respect for the environment as I had thought there would be (here I could go into the discussion I had with my brother Dan over whether or not indigenous cultures were more sustainable than we are today or if people are all the same).
The next thing I didn’t fully realize until I talked to Rachel is that no one seems to be passionate about anything. Now that’s clearly an extreme statement, and I don’t mean that to such an extreme. Yes, there is a much higher general satisfaction with life, but, the issue is that people don’t seem to want to question things, to want to connect with their environment, to want to jump at the chance to involve themselves in intellectual discussions, to have strong opinions about the politics of the world around them. I have yet to find the people with a hunger for knowledge, with a desire to live their lives in congruence with what they believe in. This is a HUGE issue with suburban America
Here it seems that either people are too busy working and going to school that they don’t have the free time to focus on a passion. And, when they do have the time, it seems that many are content simply watching tv and finding obscure activities to occupy their time. There is not, however, the ridiculous amount of frivolousness I have always gotten overwhelmed by in many instances in the US
Also, I have a wonderful friend here who is from a rural area about five hours from Heredia (it takes almost the whole day by bus because of the roads) and who is staying with a host family while going to school. Her family is not nearly as hospitable and generous as mine, and she is given three small meals a day and isn’t even allowed to buy her own food and keep it in the house. She has four siblings and her parents living so far away, and there are no phones where she’s from so she can only call her family once a week. Her parents and older brother can hardly come to visit because they barely ever have time off from work, and they have to take the crazy long bus to get here. She is so close with her family and wishes she could talk to them every day. She is wonderful and funny and kindhearted and sweet, but I don’t know how she does it. She’s not really allowed to go out (I’m changing that, at least a little bit) and isn’t allowed to have a boyfriend. Her situation makes me realize how much I should appreciate my constant ability to connect with those I love, my comfort in my home here, my personal freedom. People have things so much harder than me, and I can criticize the world around me, but I need to always remember to appreciate my position in it, my opportunities, and the lifestyle I enjoy.
okay so dear long time wise friend Suzanne Adams sent me a comment through facebook that for some reason wouldn't post here. but i want to post it here because she brings up some things that i really need to think about and clarify and understand. here it is:
ResponderEliminarInteresting observation. I think there are a couple of things to consider... 1) You're judging them by your eyes, your life experience. A sociologist observes and collects info from their perspective (as much as humanly possible).
2)Wealth (and by their standards, you are wealthy) provides the freedom to move from satisfying your needs to survive to evolving into the world around you...
3) Passion is always from the eye of the beholder. You can not see them as passionless unless you truly immerse yourself in their lives.
Some of what you want is there. Its there in all cultures but to see it, you have to leave your thoughts and experiences and enter theirs.
my response:
1. I know, and I guess my blog just came out a little bit as brain vomit of my frustrations. I go through pretty extreme up and down phases of positivity and negativity, and i was just letting out the frustrations. I think it came out more as me blaming them than I had intended it to. I am aggravated with the "culture" not because I think that it's the fault of individuals or groups of individuals. I think it's more the fault of the educational system, the political structure, the american and european influence. people, i believe, are for the most part pretty similar by nature.
2. I was actually thinking about this as I was criticizing! But you put it much more beautifully. They do not have the free time or the resources to be able to think in a mindset of anything other than maintaining what they have and pushing to make themselves more comfortable and to develop their country. It's kind of like the issue with developing countries as a whole and industrialization through unsustainable means-the US had its chance to industrialize and become a developed nation through destructive means, and now we can afford to make changes to sustainability practices, but is it fair to force others to make these changes while they're developing as it might hinder their process? i think the answer is, although it isn't fair, yes. because we are at the point in an environmental crisis where we can't afford to be selfish, and people and nations must find ways to grow and satisfy their own needs while maintaining a powerful awareness of the outside world and of each action's effect on it.
3. I have become close with several people here, and that is true. I think passion in my eyes comes in a different form and that's my problem. I beg for a passion that involves people altering their lives and their own personal comfort to see a difference in something or to live in congruence with what they believe in. but this type of passion automatically means it must lie in social justice or in environmental protection. and many people's passions here lie in family, in food, in community, and living in congruence with these does not involve altering a lifestyle.
I know I can find some things to satisfy my desires here, but I think it's frustrating to me because it's so much harder to instill my passions of environmental advocacy and conscious eating and social justice in people without criticizing people's culture or preaching, especially with the language barrier. I think I'm also just so angry at the vacuity of culture that has resulted from the tourism and the introduction of commercialism. I would find what I want in their traditional culture, but the issue is that I, and them as well, am missing out on seeing this culture.